I was testing a new fiberglass rod and spinning reel. I started with small (size 12) hook baited with a quarter inch of worm and in less than 30 minutes took over twenty bream, (brim to us Southerners, bluegills to Yankees), as fast I as could land them. As I found bigger and deeper holes, I changed hook to a size 8 and used a full worm. Maybe I better stop and bore the shit out of you people that has never or never wanted to fish. Hook sizes are weird. The size 22 is very small and size 12 is much larger. It reverses after size 1and as the hooks get bigger the number gets bigger but with a 0 as in 3/0 (three ought) now if that means nothing to you, you need to get out and fish. I took six nice bass and five much larger catfish. It was three hours before I turned around and motored back to the Ford pickup. I had made a decision. The rod would be made in sixteen sizes five feet, five and a half feet, six feet and six and a half with reels to match and in a light, medium and heavy and. The clock's ticking, Gus'll be home shortly. I tell him 'my husband'll be home soon (but not as soon as he's going to be!), so let's get to it.I tease 'Dick' with a little show as I grab my Astro-Glide and apply a little to my tiny rosebud. I crookws a finger, and he climbed on and slipped his perfect sized rod up my bottom (by perfect, I mean just the right size for packing a girl's fudge. Not TOO big, but not too small. He's banging away. I timed it so it would be with 15 minutes of Gus's arrival, so he'd catch us, but that I'd get enough satisfaction to hold me over until....Gus came walking in. CAUGHT!(again). I see a small smile on his face just before he lets his mad out. Here we go. "You bitch! Again! Every time I turn around you're fucking someone else! Caught you with this one up your ass, no less!" He rants on. 'Dick' is of course scared shitless. He dismounts and runs, dodging as far away from Gus as he can to get out the door, hoping Gus will focus on me and let him get.
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